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For Catholics, going to confession is an essential part of our spiritual lives. The Church requires us to go at least once a year, and it strongly encourages us to go far more often than that.

Maybe you sometimes wonder why this is so important. After all, most Protestants say that if you simply confess your sins to Jesus, you’re good to go!

But that’s not what Christians have traditionally understood. Here are some reasons why you need the Sacrament of Confession (or Reconciliation).

1. Jesus gave His apostles and their successors the power to forgive sins in His name
In Scripture, we see Jesus instituting the Sacrament of Confession in the Gospel of John 20:21-23: “Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.’ And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.’”

Notice how Jesus didn’t say, “If you confess all your sins directly to me, they’ll be completely forgiven.” No, He wanted to involve His representatives on earth in this ministry of mercy — even giving them the authority to withhold forgiveness if they thought it necessary.

2. Confession goes with our human nature
The logic of the Sacrament of Confession is also the logic of the other sacraments: We humans are made up of a material body and spiritual soul. Therefore, God saves us through spirit and matter.

The sacraments are visible signs that actually give the spiritual grace they signify. In confession, you receive the spiritual grace of forgiveness, but this comes through the sensible words and gestures of the priest.

3. Your sins hurt not only you, but also the entire Body of Christ
For Catholics, our faith is not merely a private affair. It’s not simply you and Jesus. Through the Sacrament of Baptism, you’re incorporated into the Mystical Body of Christ. You are united to everyone else in the Church by bonds of charity.

But just as an illness in one part of the human body can hurt other parts, so the sins of one member of the Body of Christ affect everyone else. By going to confession, you’re not only healing yourself, but you’re also helping to heal the Church.

When you confess to a representative of the Church, it highlights the fact that we are all united in Christ.

4. Being free of your sins is an incredible joy!
A word of caution here: Don’t judge the quality of your confession by how you feel afterward. It’s possible to have made the best confession ever, received God’s forgiveness, and then not feel any joy afterward. And there’s no reason to be concerned over that.

Still, many of us have experienced an incredible sense of freedom and joy after going to confession. For those leaving a life of serious sin, it can feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off their shoulders. It’s amazing!

But even if you don’t experience such elation, you can be at peace knowing your sins have been forgiven and you have another chance to serve the Lord.

Sadly, we’ve seen many Catholics abandon confession over the past half-century. If only they knew what they were missing! If you already go to the sacrament frequently, keep it up. If it has been a while, remember that Jesus is waiting for you with open arms!

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22-23).

 

Scrupulosity is a spiritual disease that causes you to have an excessive fear of sin. You may think you’ve sinned when you really haven’t or you may go through life paralyzed with anxiety about the possibility of committing sin.

Scrupulosity is a trap set by the devil to weaken your trust in God and — ultimately — lead you to despair of the possibility of your salvation.

Many devout Catholics are susceptible to scrupulosity. Here are a few ways to overcome it.

1. Practice radical abandonment to the mercy of God
Fact: God loves you and is actively working to lead you to heaven to be with Him forever! And He knows that you’re going to trip sometimes along the way. But He’s always ready to forgive you and give you His grace, so long as you don’t run away from Him out of shame, fear, or spite.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by scrupulosity, focus your gaze on Jesus and His merciful heart. Recite a prayer of trust, such as this one given to St. Faustina by our Lord Himself, “O blood and water, which gushed forth from the heart of Jesus as a fountain of mercy for us, I trust in You.”

Matthew 14 is a powerful Scripture passage that teaches us how to practice radical trust. In it, Jesus walks on water to a boat the Apostles are sitting in during a storm:

“But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, ‘It is a ghost!’ And they cried out for fear. But immediately he spoke to them, saying, ‘Take heart, it is I; have no fear.’ And Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.’ He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; but when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’ Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘O man of little faith, why did you doubt?’”

In other words, look at Jesus, not the spiritual storm engulfing you.

2. Don’t go overboard in the confessional
The Sacrament of Confession is the font of God’s mercy. Yet many scrupulous Catholics fear the sacrament because they think it requires more of them than it really does. In confession, you are required to list at least your mortal sins and make a firm resolution to amend your life.

You don’t need to feel any emotional sorrow for your sins to be forgiven because, frankly, we as humans don’t have complete control over our emotional state. It’s the will that counts.

If you unintentionally forgot to mention a sin — even a serious one — don’t worry! You’re still forgiven, although you should mention any forgotten mortal sins in your next confession.

And don’t make a general confession of your entire life each time you go to the sacrament. As long as your last confession was sincere and complete, you only need to confess the sins you’ve committed since your last confession.

3. Find a spiritual director
This is advisable for most scrupulous people, but it’s especially important for those who have become so scrupulous that they can’t function in day-to-day life.

A scrupulous person can’t entirely rely on their own judgments and feelings about their spiritual state. The anxiety caused by scruples distorts these. That’s why an outside assessment provided by a wise spiritual director is needed. And — as many saints have taught — you need to be ready to obey your director.

In your journey to overcome scrupulosity, it’s crucial that you are patient with yourself. Just as you won’t conquer all your sins overnight, you won’t overcome all your anxieties right away.

By putting these tips into practice, you’ll learn to grow in your trust in our merciful Lord, who said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28-30).

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Catholics love debating the aesthetics of worship — especially church art, architecture, and music. While these debates have always existed, they’ve become more intense since the Second Vatican Council opened 60 years ago and ushered in changes to the liturgy.

You have Traditionalists defending Gregorian Chant, Baroque paintings, and breathtaking altars. You have liberals wanting to sing “Gather Us In,” while carrying Velcro banners in the Mass’ opening procession. And you have churchgoers who fall somewhere in between.

Here’s where the Church stands on this topic.

The Church (even Vatican II) wants Church art, architecture, and music to be beautiful and reverent.

The Church is open to modern forms of architecture, art, and music, so long as they are reverent, not too jarring, and truly express the beauty of the liturgy.

Some people mistakenly think that the Second Vatican Council did away with traditional forms of art and music. But that’s not the case, as the following passages from the council’s Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy show:

“The Church acknowledges Gregorian chant as specially suited to the Roman liturgy; therefore, other things being equal, it should be given pride of place in liturgical services.” (#116)

“In the Latin Church the pipe organ is to be held in high esteem, for it is the traditional musical instrument which adds a wonderful splendor to the Church’s ceremonies and powerfully lifts up man’s mind to God and to higher things.” (#120)

The council also emphasized the need for the liturgical arts to be worthy of divine worship:

“Holy Mother Church has therefore always been the friend of the fine arts and has ever sought their noble help, with the special aim that all things set apart for use in divine worship should be truly worthy, becoming and beautiful, signs and symbols of the supernatural world.” (#122)

“Let bishops carefully remove from the house of God and from other sacred places those works of artists which are repugnant to faith, morals and Christian piety, and which offend true religious sense either by depraved forms or by lack of artistic worth, mediocrity and pretense.” (#124)

The liturgy is, above all, a sacrifice, not merely a social gathering.

The liturgy is the re-presentation of the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. In the Mass, we offer ourselves to God in union with the sacrifice of Christ. Its main focus is on God, not us.

Of course, we are united at Mass with other members of the Body of Christ. And, in a sense, the Mass is a sacred meal. But that’s secondary to its sacrificial aspect.

More traditional church architecture, art, and music tend to better emphasize the Mass as a sacrifice. Some modern styles overly emphasize the community meal dimension of the Mass at the expense of the sacrificial aspect.

Ultimately, our attitude to the liturgy — including its art, architecture, and music — should be to treat it reverently as something received, not as something we manufacture out of nothing. The essence and spirit of the Mass are indeed passed down from Jesus and the Apostles. And while certain elements of worship do change over time, they are always bound to serve the same liturgical spirit that connects us with two millennia of Christians who came before us.

We live in an age where you’re expected to treat all religions as equals, otherwise, you’re a hater. To many people, it doesn’t matter whether you’re Catholic, Protestant, Hindu, Muslim, or whatever else, so long as you don’t try to put your faith on a pedestal.

But while we should respect members of other faiths — as many are sincere in their quest for truth — it is completely false that all religions are equal.

Nor are all forms of Christianity equal. Despite the fact that Catholicism is sometimes seen as merely another denomination of Christianity, there are major differences between Catholics and the rest of the Protestant world.

As the true Church established by Christ, the Catholic Church possesses gifts that no other Christian community has. And we shouldn’t shy away from holy boasting about that fact — not to inflate our egos, but to invite our non-Catholic Christian brothers and sisters to join us!

Here are just a few of the reasons why Catholicism is better than Protestantism.

1. We have Jesus physically present among us
It’s easy for Catholics to take the Eucharist for granted, but we shouldn’t. After all, what is more awesome than having the Second Person of the Trinity physically present with us?

Many Protestants, sadly, don’t have this real presence of Jesus because they don’t believe in it (they see Holy Communion as merely symbolic of Jesus’ body and blood). Other Protestants do believe in some form of sacred presence in the host, but the Catholic Church has decreed that Jesus is not really physically present in their rites due to their lack of a valid priesthood.

2. We have an authoritative hierarchy
Maybe you’re scratching your head over this one. Who wants to be told what to do? Sure, if you’re a Catholic, you may try to be obedient to the pope and your bishop. But you may not revel in it.

To see why having an authoritative teaching Church is so freeing, just look at the consequences of not having one. Most Protestants hold to the doctrine of Sola Scriptura — meaning they believe that Scripture alone is the sole rule of faith and ultimate authority for all Christians.

But while this may sound nice in theory, it hasn’t worked out for them practically. There are thousands of Protestant denominations and many teach contradictory things, yet claim their teachings come straight from Scripture.

Catholics, on the other hand, have the magisterium (the authoritative teaching office of the Church) to declare and define what truths are actually contained in the divine revelation present in Scripture and Apostolic Tradition. This is freeing because then we can know with certainty what the truth is without having to rely on our own judgments.

3. We have the saints and can talk to them
Catholics don’t worship the saints. This is a common misconception among Protestants. But we do pray to them, by which we mean we ask them for their intercession.

And why not? The saints are in heaven united with God and there’s no reason to think that they’re completely unaware of what’s happening on earth. We ask them to pray for us just as we would ask a close friend or family member here on earth to intercede with us.

The difference is this: Since the saints are in the presence of God, we are guaranteed that God hears their prayers.

This is just scratching the surface of all the unique gifts found in the Catholic Church. We invite any Protestant friends reading this to dive deeper into the rich teaching and ceremonies of Catholicism. We promise it will be an awesome journey!

Most of us use social media. That’s probably how you found this blog. And most of us can point to good experiences from that — maybe seeing photos of a close friend’s wedding you couldn’t attend or that inspirational quote that popped into your feed on a bad day and made you smile.

Then there’s the dark side. You’ve probably experienced some of that as well.

We’ve lost a lot through the rise of social media. Here’s an in memoriam to some of these.

1. Face-to-face contact
Social media is contradictory. It puts us in virtual contact with people all over the world, yet we’re isolated, stuck in front of a screen in our rooms. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with virtual communication. But when it gets to the point where you’re hardly ever going out to see people in person, then you miss out on many potentially memorable moments.

2. The nuances of communication
Communication via social media is much more susceptible to misinterpretation than talking to someone on the phone or face-to-face. Our voices and facial expressions help make our meaning clear. Unless you’re video chatting, you miss these cues when messaging on social media.

So many problems can be averted by simply picking up the phone and calling someone or meeting them in person.

3. Kindness
Social media is one of the main kindness killers. Few moments are as toxic as debates on social media, whether it’s something as serious as politics or as light-hearted as food preferences. It’s as if the anonymity of the screen draws the inner monster out of people, causing them to say things they’d think twice about in someone’s presence.

4. Reality
Social media fuels fake perceptions about people. We’re talking about all those obnoxious photos and videos that are obviously staged to make it look like the person is living the perfect life.

This can make you feel depressed about your own life. Just remember that these photos and videos aren’t telling the whole story. Recent cases of popular social media personalities struggling with addiction or being brutally murdered show that their lives weren’t all they seemed to be…

How to restore what social media destroyed
We’re not telling you to completely get rid of your social media. But there are actions you can take to bring more balance to your life.

You can start by only having social media accessible on your computer, rather than your phone. That way you’re forced to plug for a while, as you go about your daily activities.

Also, consider whether you’re signing up for a certain social media platform for legitimate reasons or simply to be part of the in-crowd. For example, maybe you enjoy Facebook because you can keep up with family on the other side of the country and you enjoy posts from your favorite organizations. If you have the urge to join another platform, say TikTok, ask yourself why that interests you. Don’t do it just because it’s trendy.

Finally, make time to actually get together with people and connect with them over the phone. The connection social media gives us to people can’t beat the experience of hanging out with someone and enjoying their company without a screen and keyboard getting in the way.

Cringe is that inner embarrassment and turmoil you feel from something someone else says or does. This makes you pity them and want to flee their presence.

People in the 21st century are hypersensitive to cringe. Part of this is fueled by the excessive sense of irony that many millennials and Gen Zers aim at older generations or politicians who behave in cringey ways.

But anyone can be cringey — including Catholics. And it’s something you should strive to avoid. Here’s how.

1. Cultivate basic self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-forgetfulness
A big problem in our spiritual, political, social, and family lives is thinking we’re something that we’re not.

You need to know and accept who you really are in order to flourish as a human being. If you’re always rebelling against, or overshooting, your true self, you’re going to be a constant source of affliction for everyone you live, work, and hang out with.

No one is talented at everything and that’s okay. You don’t need to be a sports superstar or musical virtuoso. You are the fruit of God’s love. That is enough, even if you stink at millions of other things.

Be open to your real life and seek to be reconciled to it.

2. Just get out of the way
People shouldn’t have to contend with your holiness. In other words, your pursuit of holiness shouldn’t be an obstacle to other peoples’ devotions.

This happens a lot among Catholics. For example, many of us know someone who mumbles their prayers audibly during Holy Hour. But while they may be engaged in a deep moment of spiritual communion, they really shouldn’t be disturbing other people who are trying to pray in silence.

Or maybe you want to kneel on the bare floor instead of a kneeler during Mass to make a small sacrifice. That’s fine, unless you’re sharing the pew with someone who wants to use the kneeler.

3. Leave room for mystery
Many Catholics behave in subtly cringey ways while trying to be helpful. For example, well-meaning greeters in the parish vestibule may be overbearingly helpful to people walking in for Mass who simply want to find their pews.

Then, there are the generally pointless introductory remarks before Mass about who the celebrant is, how happy the church is that visitors are there, etc. This can become excessive and interfere with people’s attempts to encounter God through the rites of the Mass itself.

Mass should keep an aura of mystery and not feel too much like a social club. The Mass itself should shape the people who attend; you should avoid trying too hard to shape the experience in your own image.

4. Strive for genuine humility
While you don’t want to hide your faith, your pursuit of holiness should be a private interaction between you and God. Otherwise, you may start doing it for show. Strive for spiritual simplicity and eschew opportunities for virtue signaling.

Avoid saying things such as “During Holy Hour, Jesus said x, y, z to me.” You may inadvertently be making your listeners depressed over the fact that Jesus has never spoken that personally to them during Holy Hour.

Here’s another example. When someone praises you, don’t give a long speech about how “It was all God and I’m a nobody.” While, in a certain sense, that’s true, it’s hard to speak that way without sounding proud about your “humility.” Rather, simply respond with “thank you” and leave it at that.

We are all called to evangelize through our words and actions. But these cringey behaviors can interfere with that mission. Commit yourself to overcoming them now, so that the light of Christ can shine more brightly for you.

Ultimately, He is what matters.

In most parts of the world, Catholics and Protestants have come a long way from their history of bloody battles with each other. We now live, work, and play side by side in relative harmony.

Which is how it should be, although this doesn’t mean we’re supposed to give up on evangelizing our Protestant brothers and sisters. Jesus calls all of us to work to peacefully help Him gather everyone into His one Church.

Protestants have often outdone Catholics in their evangelization efforts. While Catholic apologetics has developed a lot over the past few decades, we still have plenty of work to do.

Here are a few ways you can pitch in to gently encourage your Protestant friends to consider the claims of the Catholic Church.

1. Suggest that they study the writings of the Fathers of the Church
Many former Protestants credit the writings of the Fathers of the Church with leading them to embrace Catholicism. This includes some pretty big names in the Catholic world, including Scott Hahn, Peter Kreeft, and Stephen K. Ray.

The Fathers of the Church are early Christian leaders, preachers, and writers of the first several hundred years of Christianity. The reason they are so valuable is that they give us a window into what the early Christians believed in the time period following the Apostles. Some of these men even knew the Apostles personally.

Time after time, Protestants have gone to the writings of the Church Fathers to “prove” that the early Church was Protestant — only to discover very Catholic-sounding beliefs and practices. We have St. Clement of Rome at the end of the first century talking about the apostolic succession of bishops; St. Irenaeus of Lyons in the second century defending the authority of Apostolic Tradition; and St. Justin Martyr in the second century describing an ancient form of the Mass. And the list goes on.

Thankfully, many of the writings of the early Church Fathers are available to read for free online. New Advent has one of the best collections.

2. Show them Catholic beliefs in the Bible
The Bible is a Catholic book. While you won’t find every Catholic doctrine laid out there, you’ll find quite a bit of support for our beliefs in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, confession to a priest, the authority of the papacy, and more. John 6 is a great place to begin a discussion about the Eucharist with your Protestant friends, as is Matthew 16 to defend the papacy.

Just be careful about proof-texting. Make sure to read the entire passage or chapter to make sure you’re not taking the words out of context. There are many great apologetics resources out there to help you better understand the Scriptural basis of Catholicism.

3. Gently help them overcome misunderstandings about Catholicism
Some Protestants inadvertently perpetuate misconceptions about Catholic beliefs they’ve heard from their pastor, fellow churchgoers, or televangelists. There are too many to list here, but some common misunderstandings you’ll encounter from Protestants are that Catholics worship Mary and the saints, think they have to “earn” heaven, and don’t really care about the Bible.

Sometimes, the misunderstanding is due to using words differently. For example, many Protestants have a more narrow definition of the word “pray” than Catholics. For Protestants, it always denotes an act of worship. For Catholics, the word can simply mean “to ask.” So when we say we are praying to the saints, we just mean we’re asking for their intercession.

It’s important to exercise charity in these cases because it’s often not the Protestants’ fault that they have these misunderstandings.

These tips have helped many Protestants open themselves to the truth of Catholicism. Your goal should not be to win a debate with anyone. It should be to shed light on Christ’s presence in the Catholic Church in such a way as to help them become receptive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, who is ready to lead them into the fullness of truth.

Modern society has a litany of grievances against what it considers to be a “backwards” Church. One of these is that the Church is essentially a community of misogynists. People making this accusation will point to things such as the all-male priesthood and the Church’s teaching on the man being the head of the family, among other things.

Is this accusation true? Let’s find out!

It’s not misogynistic to acknowledge the truth about human sexuality
Many people no longer believe that there are real biological differences between men and women. This means, to them, that men and women are not cut out for different roles, but can do all the same things. The current transgender craze shows just how off the rails this line of thinking has gone.

But, as Catholics, we know that while God did create men and women as equals, this does not mean He created them for the exact same roles. Nor did He give them the same biological strengths.

And you don’t even need faith to see this — just look at the sports world. We now have men masquerading as women and joining women’s sports. And they’re crushing the real women. Because, while not every man is physically stronger than every woman, a man’s physical make-up is designed for a higher level of physical strength than a woman’s. That’s just basic biology.

Catholics — at least faithful Catholics — acknowledge this simple truth. And because modern society doesn’t want to accept it and can’t really defend their beliefs, well, the easiest thing to do is just call Catholics “misogynists.”

But it’s also true that some Catholics — in response to the Left — go to the other extreme
It’s easy to respond to an extreme you disagree with by going to the other extreme. And, let’s be honest, some Catholics do this in response to the extreme positions of the Left.

They may take certain things in the Bible out of context to make it seem like women absolutely can’t work or can never challenge their husbands’ wrong decisions. Basically, they’ll act like the only things women should do is bear children, walk around the house barefoot, and keep their mouths shut.

And while, yes, being a stay-at-home mom is an awesome and critical vocation, neither the Church nor the Bible limit the things women can do to only that.

Make sure you’re not taking Church teaching out of context and indeed know what you’re talking about before unleashing a tirade against the Left to such an extreme that you may actually be misrepresenting reality yourself. (There have been instances where passionate Catholic men respond to a woman’s criticism by basically saying, “You’re a woman. What do you know?”)

Recognize and respect legitimate freedom
As we said in a recent blog, there’s nothing wrong with a man preferring to marry a woman who will be a stay-at-home mom. But not every woman has to forgo a job to raise a family. A man is free to express his desire for his wife to not work, but he shouldn’t communicate it in a way to make it sound like she’d be doing something wrong simply by having a job.

While the Church is against the false freedoms and anti-family crusade of today’s radical feminists and woke Left, it also recognizes more freedom for women than some Catholics are willing to grant.

At the end of the day, you shouldn’t really care what the world says about you. Let it call you every hideous name. As long as you’re staying true to your faith, you have nothing to be worried about. But also make sure you’re actually believing the right things and not distorting them by overreacting to the other side.

It’s a real balancing act. But it’s what we have to do.

Wait … what? You mean nuns deal with drama too?

Yep, because, believe it or not, nuns are human too! And just like any family, a community of nuns spends so much time together that conflict is bound to happen on occasion.

Our friends Mother Natalia and Mother Gabriella have some great tips for managing drama. These work for everyone, not just nuns.

1. Look at the conflict from the other’s point of view
Let’s say someone comes to you and is hurt by something you said. Try setting the issue aside and looking at it with them from their point of view.

If you’re struggling to do this, here’s a tip: Do more listening than talking. This will make it easier for you to receive the other’s pain and empathize with them. Respond only after putting yourself in their shoes, almost looking at it as if someone other than you had hurt that person.

Even if you don’t resolve the issue, this empathy exercise will help both of you feel safe, encountered, and heard, making the healing process proceed much more smoothly.

2. Don’t worry so much about being right as about being real
Have you ever gone into a conflict with a long list in your head of all the points you want to make? Sometimes, you become so attached to this list that no matter what the other side says, you’re ready to mow them down with your entire litany of grievances.

It gets even worse. Maybe you’ve already come to a mutual understanding with the other person, but you still feel that urge to get through the rest of your list.

Don’t! It’s not about getting out everything you feel the urge to get out. If the reason the conflict needs to be resolved is so you both can have a solid relationship, then why do those things matter?

3. Remember your common goal
Ultimately, God made all of us to spend eternity with Him in heaven. It’s easy to accept this on a theoretical level. But when you have to affirm it about the person who’s always getting on your nerves — well, that’s tough! But doing so can put your drama in a whole new perspective. That person who annoys you is your co-heir to eternal life. Treat them as such.

 

Because we are all wounded creatures, conflict is inevitable in our lives. It’s what we do with that conflict that determines if we go through life bitterly or grow in charity. Ultimately, remember that the life of heaven is the fullness of charity, so start doing what you can now to grow in this virtue.

It won’t be easy. Jesus assured us it wouldn’t be. But He has also assured us of His graces if we at least try.