There’s no getting around it: First dates can be SUPER awkward. You meet up with someone — possibly for the first time. You both bring your dreams and insecurities to the table. It’s a ripe time for jitters, gaffes, and conflict.
To minimize the awkwardness of a first date, learn the weird things Catholics are prone to do and avoid them.
1. Don’t get too serious too quickly
We live in a hookup culture that makes it harder for serious relationships to flourish. As Catholics, we know the ultimate goal of dating is to enter into a lifelong marriage.
Keep that as your end goal, but don’t rush to get there. Spend the first date casually getting to know the person, rather than mapping out your future together. You run the risk of scaring away a potential spouse if you immediately start talking about having children with them. (Yes, that really does happen among Catholics.)
2. Don’t go too much into your past life
Many Catholics have a less-than-ideal past. If you have a history of serious sin, you will need to bring up at least aspects of this past, but wait until you’ve been dating someone for a while. They have a right to know who they’re thinking about marrying.
But a first date is NOT the place to do this! If your date doesn’t know you well, spilling your guts about your past is just going to scare them away.
Also, don’t talk about your exes on the first date.
3. Don’t ask a woman to quit her job
It’s true. Some Catholic women have reported that men have asked them to quit their jobs on the first date!
Of course, the Church holds stay-at-home moms in the highest esteem. It is a beautiful, necessary vocation. And family always comes before careers. But the Church is not against mothers working, as long as they can fulfill their primary vocation of raising their children.
Don’t get us wrong. It is a legitimate preference for a man to want his wife to be a stay-at-home mom. But save that conversation for a later date. And don’t ask a woman to stop working while she’s dating you. As long as you’re not financially supporting her, she has every right to make a living for herself. If you ask her to quit right then and there and then break up with her, you’ve left her unemployed.
4. Stay off your phone
This may seem like a no-brainer, but many Catholics follow their secular counterparts in this regard. When you’re on a date, look at the person, not your phone. Your goal is to get to know them and gauge your compatibility. You can’t do that if you’re distracted by the latest TikTok or tweet. Plus, it makes the other person feel like you don’t find them interesting or worth your time.
So many Catholics self-sabotage themselves by acting just plain weird during a first date. There’s already going to be enough unavoidable awkwardness, so why add more? Drop these behaviors and you’ll increase your chances of a more pleasant outing.