Two Nuns’ Tips For Handling Drama

By pintswaquinas October 13, 2022

Wait … what? You mean nuns deal with drama too?

Yep, because, believe it or not, nuns are human too! And just like any family, a community of nuns spends so much time together that conflict is bound to happen on occasion.

Our friends Mother Natalia and Mother Gabriella have some great tips for managing drama. These work for everyone, not just nuns.

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1. Look at the conflict from the other’s point of view
Let’s say someone comes to you and is hurt by something you said. Try setting the issue aside and looking at it with them from their point of view.

If you’re struggling to do this, here’s a tip: Do more listening than talking. This will make it easier for you to receive the other’s pain and empathize with them. Respond only after putting yourself in their shoes, almost looking at it as if someone other than you had hurt that person.

Even if you don’t resolve the issue, this empathy exercise will help both of you feel safe, encountered, and heard, making the healing process proceed much more smoothly.

2. Don’t worry so much about being right as about being real
Have you ever gone into a conflict with a long list in your head of all the points you want to make? Sometimes, you become so attached to this list that no matter what the other side says, you’re ready to mow them down with your entire litany of grievances.

It gets even worse. Maybe you’ve already come to a mutual understanding with the other person, but you still feel that urge to get through the rest of your list.

Don’t! It’s not about getting out everything you feel the urge to get out. If the reason the conflict needs to be resolved is so you both can have a solid relationship, then why do those things matter?

3. Remember your common goal
Ultimately, God made all of us to spend eternity with Him in heaven. It’s easy to accept this on a theoretical level. But when you have to affirm it about the person who’s always getting on your nerves — well, that’s tough! But doing so can put your drama in a whole new perspective. That person who annoys you is your co-heir to eternal life. Treat them as such.


Because we are all wounded creatures, conflict is inevitable in our lives. It’s what we do with that conflict that determines if we go through life bitterly or grow in charity. Ultimately, remember that the life of heaven is the fullness of charity, so start doing what you can now to grow in this virtue.

It won’t be easy. Jesus assured us it wouldn’t be. But He has also assured us of His graces if we at least try.



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